Emotional

It’s been an emotional week for me as we get closer to Christmas. Christmas is a favorite holiday for me and my family. It was so true for me and

my boys Scot and Malik. We always decorated and had us a real tree unless I couldn’t afford it that year. I loved to spoil the boys. Decorating was so much fun to do. We still decorate today but its just not the same. When decorating I feel Scot there with us and that brings me some comfort. I wish I could ask Santa to bring Scot back to us but I also know God had a plan for him, me, Malik and my whole family. When I say family it isn’t just my immediate family, its Scot’s Dad and other Mom Christina that have Scot and Malik’s brother Jessie and sister Audrey. This was hard and still is for them as well. This also includes all my friends I have known for years and even some new ones I have now that I consider family. We always have a moment of silence and now when we take pictures one of us holds a picture of Scot so he can be in it too. Its become a new tradition for us. As we get closer to Christmas Day the harder it will be. Then on the 28th we quietly celebrate Scot’s anniversary day.

I am thinking about how my youngest son Malik is about to turn 21 January 17th and with Scot not physically here with us to celebrate. I know its going to be really hard on Malik not having his brother here for that milestone. Then it makes me think of all the other milestones he wont be here for, then I realize I need to take it one at a time as they come. Losing a child is the worst thing ever to have happen to someone. You never get over it, you just learn your new life without them physically here. He is always in our hearts. I am thankful to have my son Malik that I can make more memories with and we can lean on each other for the rough days we have. He is my rock.

While having all the emotions this time of year another tragedy hits with the death of longtime sports caster Craig Sager. For most its sad but for me its very emotional. Scot, Malik and I love sports. Its what we always talked about. We loved watching NBA games to see what Sager was wearing this game. He was such an amazing sports caster and with watching him for so many years, he became family even though we never met the man in person. His passing hurts the heart more. His story is a lot like ours with Scot, how we beat  Childhood Cancer the first time around. Sager beat cancer literally with his son Craig Sager Jr saving his life with a bone marrow transplant. Then the dreaded beast came back fairly quickly, he was able to have another transplant from his son but it just didn’t work. For Scot we tried a few different things to keep him alive as well and it just didn’t work. They both finally gained their angel wings and its devastating. Even though you mentally prepare yourself as much as you can for that day, there is nothing in the world that can change the horrific feelings that overcome you. Craig dying right before Christmas breaks my heart for his kids, wife and family. I send all my love, prayers and support to them all as I grieve for Scot at this time I will also be grieving for Craig Sager.

I would like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas! Please enjoy this season with your family.

 

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